Seeking The Lost: The Drug-Users In Your Youth Group
I recently received an email from a parent of a 7th grade girl in our student ministry. “Bucky,” she wrote, “I just wanted to let you know about a situation I’m sure you’re unaware of. My daughter came home tonight from the U [our Wed night program] and said that the boys behind her were talking about drugs. I thought the older students were supposed to set the example for the younger kids. I knew immediately that you must not know about it, so I thought I would email so you can deal with it.”
I have to admit that over the years I’ve gotten several emails like this. Parents are always a little taken aback to find out that not only do I invite students who are using drugs to come to our church, but I encourage our student leaders to do the same. Sometimes after explaining that I do that because I believe the Gospel is powerful enough to break addictions, they understand my position. But, there are still others who do not.
I’m afraid too many of our churches and student ministries are like whitewashed tombs. We’re so concerned with making sure that the outside looks clean and perfect, and that no one seems to be struggling with anything or involved in any sinful behavior, that we absolutely ignore the mission Christ has given His Church: to seek and save the lost.
Here’s a pretty radical reminder for us: lost people act lost. If we hope to have any impact on this generation for the cause of Christ, we need to look them in the eyes to tell them there is ONE who has paid the price they’re desperately trying to pay themselves.
We can’t look lost people in the eye when we keep them at arm’s length.
Below is my response to that mom.
Thanks for the email [mom's name]. I’m glad [student] enjoyed last night. While that must have been frustrating for her, this is a perfect opportunity for her to learn a great truth. We encourage our students to bring as many of their lost friends as possible to come and be exposed to Christ and to Christians. We LOVE to see tons of kids that are searching for truth and may still be on that journey even after they leave us. At the same time, we can’t expect lost kids to act like saved kids. Many of them have never been in church before and have no concept of appropriate behavior. Hopefully the longer they’re with us, the more they “catch” that, but it doesn’t happen overnight.
The great lesson we can help your daughter see is that just as Jesus hung out with the outcasts of society and those that the established church at the time would have deemed “bad examples,” we have to seek them out and lead them by our example and God’s Word to Christ. Your daughter may be the very example an older student needs to see! What a perfect opportunity to help your daughter’s heart look more like the heart of Christ!
Thanks for your investment in your daughter and in our church and student ministry. It’s rare, but so good to see parents investing their lives as you are.
Anything for His Glory,
Bucky
Maybe I’m wrong. I pray the Lord will convict me of it if I am. But when I read Scripture, the safe, clean, sterile situations were not the ones Christ sought out. It’s time the Church took some hefty risks for the sake of the Gospel and the hearts of the lost who desperately need to know the way home.
Bucky Rogers is Student Pastor at Anderson Mill Road Baptist Church in Spartanburg, SC (www.amrbc.org) and author of Rooted in the Ancient Words, a devotional book for teenagers.
Great post Bucky!! I am totally with you here, I have parents and leaders come to me all the time with the same issue. I remind them as you did that the lost act lost. I think it is important that our parents, as well as, the church see the importance of reaching this type of kid. The time when lost people knock the church doors down is past, we must go to where they are and show them Jesus, that is what Jesus did. Every time Jesus went to a city He went past the church and went to the lost and broken which included the worst of the worst.
Again, GREAT POST BUCKY!! GOD BLESS!!
I hope it comes across that I’m not anti-Church. Christ died for the Church. I love the Church…I’m just not a fan of what some “churches” have turned it into. Thanks for the response Greg!
I agree Bucky, church was a bad choice for what I intended. Religious people would have been better. I agree with you about what some churches have turned into. Sorry for the mix-up with words. God Bless
Bucky,
I really agree with your response so far as it addresses the mission of your youth ministry.
However, I’d like to hear your response to a parent whose concern may not be that unsaved/unchurched teens are present in the youth group …but more a matter of safety for their teens.
I guess I would encourage any youth pastor who is approached by parents with similar concerns to be sure to address issues of security, safety and supervision.
Safety is a topic we discuss quite a bit with our parents. Christianity in the western world is the only area in the world where safety is a concern. Our brothers and sisters abroad believe it is imperative to take risks that may put them in harms way for the sake of the gospel. Many die or lose everything they have because of their commitment to the advancement of this gospel. It is our prayer that God lead our kids into dangerous places if He wills for his glory and his purposes. If we don’t encourage our kids to live radically and accept the cost of dying to themselves then they will end up worse off in the long run. The worst thing that can happen to our kids is to settle for a Christian version of the American dream. Nobody gets saved that way.
I understand not being reckless but we forget that Jesus DIED for the world and we must teach our kids to be willing to do the same thing if necessary. I know that sounds radical but Jesus was radical. I don’t wish my own kids to be put into harms way but I’d like to think that if God called them to a place where that may happen, whether it be the Amazon Basin or the inner-city of Philadelphia, that they would obediently respond.
Well said, and anyone that goes on mission, or shares their faith in a hostile environment would agree, that Christ commands us ALL to “go and make disciples of all nations”. This is not a suggestion only for the mission minded, or those who have been specifically called to ministry. We were all called by Jesus himself to take risks and share Him with the lost. Thanks for reminding us that our personal comfort and safety always should take a back seat to reaching out to others.
Let me preface my comments by reiterating with Aaron that we have a responsibility to keep kids safe, since their parents entrust their kids to us. However, once we’ve ensured that, everyone is welcome.
One way I try to approach this is to always paint a picture of how I see the students who come: Yep, some follow Jesus whole-heartedly, some are seeking, some come for the girls or guys, and yes, some are in harmful lifestyles, such as drug and alcohol abuse (and they’re not too interested in getting out). So, I address that when I speak (i.e. “some of you are abusing drugs and alcohol, and you need to turn to Jesus for healing.”). This does two things: 1) it reiterates to everyone that everyone is welcome (as long as they are not a danger to others); and 2) it helps keep our group from being a whitewashed tomb. I find that a common objection in these kinds of situations is that these kind of kids don’t belong in youth group (it’s not usually said that strongly, but usually it’s implied). The truth is that sinners belong in Church, and that includes youth group.
This reminds me of a story (I think it was Mike Yac who told it back in the day, but someone please correct me if I’m wrong) about a church that had kids smoking in the parking lot before youth group. It was a group of kids who hadn’t really been around church much, but they had started coming to youth group. The rule was that they couldn’t smoke inside of the church, so they lit up before and after youth group. A parent (or a deacon?) objected to this kind of behavior. As Yac told the story, he said that the response of the adults should have been “Woo Hoo! You’ve got these kids coming to church!”